Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
