She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
