her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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