I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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