their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
