I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
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I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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