I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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