Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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