shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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