i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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