The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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