Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
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