i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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