I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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