hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you