Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do herpes really smell.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college