dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?