life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
