Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
