It's Friday. Sex?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
