lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
