Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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