I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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