I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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