And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my poor anus
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
