I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
