didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
God, I missed his penis.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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