the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
