She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
