I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
