eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
