So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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