there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
