i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
