Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
