So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
