Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
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You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
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Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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