SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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