I wish my penis had an off switch
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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