Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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