he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
