i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
