Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
