i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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