Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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