I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
