he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm too high and old for this...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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