I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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