you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize