Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
