You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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