i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
