yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize