And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
