We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
