This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
