I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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