Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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