Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
