didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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