i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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