Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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