just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize