Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
