Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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