Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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